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28 December 2012

Thinking about you.

I haven't written in quite some time.
I have an aunt, she's in hospital right now. She wouldn't want me to say who she is or anything like that. She's private, always has been. That's my perspective anyhow. I don't know if others feel the same way. Regardless, she would be pissed if she knew I was writing even this amount. I could be wrong. Maybe she wouldn't be mad. I bet she'd be happier if I called instead of writing about how shitty I think it is she has to be in hospital at all, let alone over the holiday season.
I was going to call on Boxing Day. I was planning to call. I told people I was going to call her on Boxing Day.
I freaked out about calling at all.
Why?
Boxing Day 2011 was the last time I had a conversation with another aunt, my Aunt Mary Anne. I was scared the same might happen with unnamed aunt - You know what? I was just thinking about her name and I don't even know what this aunt's middle name is. I'll have to ask her when I do call.
Last conversation I had with Aunt Mary Anne was on Boxing Day last year in the parking lot of the now closed Roger's Video. I was talking to her on my phone in the parking lot while she was visiting with family at my brother and sister in law's house. The new tradition started that year. I haven't been to one yet. Maybe soon.
Sitting in my car in the parking lot of the now closed Roger's she couldn't hear me very well and was going to hang up the phone without talking much - she was tired and frustrated and I think realised that time is too short to waste trying to talk to someone who isn't understandable - I said "WAIT!" and I took her off speaker phone and held the phone and stopped being so lazy about the whole thing. I knew she was sick. I wanted to talk to her.
We were on the phone maybe ten minutes, maybe it was less, maybe it was more. Our conversation was real. You know what I mean? We talked about real things and feelings and fears and realities and we were sad. We both were. I'm glad I got to talk to my Aunt Mary Anne.
Less than four months later I was flying home as she lay dying in her bed in her new home - the home she loved so much - with her family - her family she loved so much. I was blessed to be able to spend that time with her and help her and her family during that time. We were all sad. We felt real feelings and saw each other - really saw each other in those moments when the wind blew the right way and feelings shook out like leaves falling trees. It was spring though. Didn't feel right.
On the journey to Harrow I wrote something for my aunt - about my aunt. My cousin asked me to read it at her funeral. I did. I'll transcribe it here:
At times I feel as if sermons are bouncing around inside my head simply searching for an escape route. "A photo is worth a thousand words." I get it now. My Aunt Mary Anne ALWAYS had a camera strapped around her neck. She saw so clearly what so many miss. Her thoughts caught up in the silence between the image and the lens. I never heard her before - funny that - imminent death draws us closer and seeming to understand the dying just a little bit better...a little more clearly. Or at least my perception seems to have widened my peripheral to capture the voice my aunt appeared to desperately shield from the rest - she wasn't. She was showcasing for all to hear in her images captured - those images interpret the silent words collected between the lenses.

I miss her.
I'm scared for my aunt in hospital now. I shouldn't distance myself when I'm already physically so far away. I should be calling the hospital to say hello. If I'm going to be honest - I'm afraid to feel sad. I'm afraid of mortality. She deserves better than that. And so do I. She's awesome. She does call me a bitch every time I see her. I think that's just her way - and it's skinny bitch lately so it's really more of a compliment. Her way of saying "I love you." Ha!

11 September 2012

Suicide Prevention Day and thoughts.

So, that's what the day is today. I'm with Jenny Lawson when she just puts it out there, "Talking about suicide makes me think suicidal thoughts, which is probably one of the stupidest triggers in the history of the world." Get out of my head, please. Or wait, stick around, I feel alright when I resonate with the thoughts you share. And holy fuck do you ever leave me laughing my ass off.

I was trying to make my blog like super awesome. I can't do it. I just pick the templates and think I can be all creative and I think I've got it all figured out when really the hover colour ends up being so friggen bright you can't tell what the hell it says and the date and time end up a gross pink/purple colour. I spent about 45 minutes trying to figure it out and honestly, I had to go back in and just pick a basic theme and leave it as is already established colour and picture wise. I had this awesome Buddha face statue thing, but couldn't make it work. Maybe I should read those mailings out I get from Google Blogger. Something about $150.00 towards something. I just figure it's some kind of weird way of getting me to spend a lot of money. Oh well, that's what the template palate is for.

Suicide Prevention Day.

"But for today let’s talk about the positives.  Let’s talk about why we’re still here.  Let’s talk about the words that help us get through.  Let’s talk about the pictures and places and songs that saved us, because maybe they can save others." - www.thebloggess.com challenge.

Maybe I should have recorded my thoughts in the comments section. Maybe I'll just go back and answer there too. I thought this was a really cool challenge idea. We get to all share the goodness in our lives when it seemed like life wasn't as awesome as I thought it would.

First inquiry: "Let's talk about why we're still here." Love. Love is why I'm still here. Love is why I'm happy I'm still here. I must have had the hope that I would find it for myself eventually one day. It took some time I'll tell you what - but it has and my life is awesome. I feel all weird typing that out - should I? Maybe it's vulnerability. Maybe that's the feeling.

Second: "Let's talk about the words that help us get through." Honestly? Mine used to be, 'and this too shall pass'. Now the first thing I try to do is be curious when I'm feeling shitty. I think about the connections and the triggers and the interesting body complaints surfacing at nearly the same time - hmm...I know what I mean but I can't seem to express it properly. So, after I did the personal work stuff at Haven I have been learning more and more about Zen Buddhism - Brad Warner mostly. Soto. I've gotten a couple of other books that I hope to explore more fully when I decide to take the time to read them - the one in particular is Shobogenzo by Dogen. All introduced to me by Brad.

Third, Forth, and Fifth: "...pictures and places and songs that saved us...". Where do I start. I know I had two pictures of topless men holding onto babies. Funny thing about these pictures? I tried to use them to give teeth to my straightness, rather, internalized homophobia. I had them because they were hot. I did fucking not. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out. I guess it took some psychology classes though. haha. Best part about growing up and forgiving the past? I realized I was wrong. Love was there all along. I just didn't recognize it. YUKON. Yukon saved me big time. Big time. Being up here in the middle of the woods has been fantastic for my body and soul and spirit and all that energy stuff. All of it. I love walking outside and seeing the natural world save paved roads and electric poles, the houses and signs along the way. Looking above all that I see the mountains, the trees, the lake, the river, the weeds, and sometimes wildlife. I have a part in it all - we all do and it's amazing. The system up here is pretty neat to blend in with. I like it. The songs are vital - the first times I really felt sad and all that - Sarah McLachlan.


And then I got a little bit older and picked this one to listen on repeat by her:



And then I found Ani Difranco because she was totally out as bi and her music is just awesome...and she's totally hot.

Ani was around for quite some time. I still listen to Sarah and smile. I finally came out and accepted it all. Now I know I'm depressed when I'm syncing Joy Division (Ian Curtis, not New Order) on my phone and iPad. Now when I'm happy I like to listen to poppy, indie music. There are so many. Right now I'm nearing the last quarter of my obsession with the album Some Nights by the band who's name is fun.. You include that period on the end. That's not just the end of the sentence. I suppose I should go back now and put a second period there so you know and now you know that I didn't make a mistake there...there might be other mistakes grammatically - okay so not might there are many errors up there...just not that specific one.






24 July 2012

A motherfucking parking TICKET. shit.

I was wondering how many swears I could work into the title of this so long time taken to write blog post. There are two and rest assured I could have included more but my mom reads this when I post.
So. The LOML and I drove to town. She was getting her hair did and I just wanted to sit at Starbucks and have a coffee and mess around on the Internet for free. Sort of free. Appears it will cost me the $10 ticket, the $5 coffee, a $10.99 digital album download (Passion Pit), plus the soon to be heard 'I told you so' which will be pointed out by the LOML. sheesh. I had just glanced outside to see if there were any parking meter minders and I saw none. I thought for sure I would see before they struck me. I guess I was wrong because it seems that they are ninjas with specific training in not being detected. Not to mention or bitch BUT they never ticketed the three people I saw parked in the handicap spot! Not to bitch though mind you. I wouldn't do that.
I should get out there and put more money in and pay the ticket before the hair appointment finishes. I can't keep a secret so I'll tell her and she'll be right. She usually is. Drives me insane! No joke.
http://www.avclub.com/articles/passion-pit-gossamer,82823/
I think you'll have to highlight, copy, paste the above URL. Apparently the iPad doesn't have the capability to use the compose option on blogger.

25 March 2012

Ding Dong the Witch is dead. Survivor 24


Okay, thank god he didn't really die because then my title would be HORRIBLE. He was just medically evacuated for acute appendicitis. OMG. I really had no idea what it was either and could really relate to Kat's complete and utter shock and fear of not knowing what appendicitis is! I just googled it and got my wiki(pedia) on. I won't even send you to the info page and I don't recommend you see it if you don't know - it sounds horrible. My sympathies to anyone who has had this happen.
Okay, let's get back to something more light-hearted. Kat did seem kind of dense at tribal. I like her, she's 'honest'.
Colton is terrible! I don't know 100% if he even realizes it. I didn't know there were people out there as mean as him and low and behold there are two of them on the same tribe - you know who you are Alicia. You know.
I couldn't believe their behaviour. I hope they watch and are embarrassed for themselves. They were so mean to Christina. She knew she was going home when they lost the challenge. She fricken couldn't have not known. They were so mean. Colton referred to Christina as the cockroach of Survivor, that no one likes her - even the girls don't like her, and that she could if she was so inclined to do so - jump into the fire. Alicia was sitting there nodding all along, petting him like he's a puppy or something. I wanted to be sick...but not really sick of course - I'm still scared of the appendicitis. 
So - they proceed to be abusive towards their peer - I'm not even kidding. I'm so ashamed for Alicia. She teaches special needs kids, right? She just seems like a bully right now and that's not cool. I'd like to see her at work. She's probably not that person. She can't be, right?
Instant karma's a bitch, Colton. A bigger bitch than you could ever be. And I'm sorry - this is your lesson for this part of your life. I hope you've grown up a titch. We see in night vision Colton being petted by Christina. It's late and he's complaining of a crazy headache. She thought it was just a stress related thing seeing as he has never been away from home...tummy ache and tension headache is all she thought it was. This continued into the daylight. Colton went on a walkabout into the woods and he didn't return. He was lying there on the ground nearly in a puddle of his own excrement and vomit. Christina freaked out when she found him and summoned medical.
Jeff showed up with the medical team. They pushed on the area just below his ribcage on the right hand side. When they did that he cried like a baby and his heart rate increased from 60 bpm to 120. Wow. So, then he started crying and the medical team determined that he could have appendicitis so he would have to be removed from the game. Colton said he didn't want to go, but m'eh...you won't be too terribly missed. I think I'll miss the fodder though.
In the middle of Colton's depressing news and illness - Jeff leans right over him, "So...uh, whatcha gonna do with that idol?" I laughed so hard. He didn't even say anything about how he wished he was feeling better or anything like that. Colton asked if he could give it away to someone, but in the end he asked Alicia to please tell Sabrina, "thank-you for the souvenir". They left it as if he didn't give it to anyone. Now, I'm not sure whether he gave it away or not. I wouldn't be surprised either way. Alicia, in a solo interview, said she was annoyed that he never gave it to her. I hope she goes home next.

Both tribes still find themselves at Tribal. They drop their buffs and become one tribe once again. They didn't show where they go to live - not that I can recall. I can't even remember what colour they are now. I think it might be brown. There are six women and six men left in the game. I was surprised they rejoined tribes after just two challenges, but hey...it'll work for ratings, right? I have no idea. They could have had this arranged ahead of time before Colton got the boot.

The challenge this week before Colton's medical emergency was pretty boring. They had to throw coconuts from atop a little bit of a climb and knock out five different targets after said coconut bounced off of a trampoline. The weird thing about it though was this was supposed to resemble something from their childhood backyard games. I never played anything like that did you? I tried to find a picture of at least the Adonis tribe winning, but couldn't find anything...that's how much this challenge sucked.

There was some interesting dynamics this week, but I don't know how important they will be in the future of the game with the individual game starting next week. Leif, Jonas, and Christina might have something going. Maybe she really is annoying though. She seems nice enough in all the edits they show us. Jonas should step up his game already and find a stronger place. I am pretty sure that Jay, Troyzan, Kim, Courtney, and Sabrina will have some type of alliance. I wonder if they will pick up and carry Kat again.

Quote of the Week: Tarzan, "You wouldn't be my friend. I do respect you though Catherine." Her name's Christina. The quote worked better when I actually heard it the first time...this time I can't remember exactly how it went.
Next week: Tarzan decides to go it alone.

15 March 2012

The ADONIS tribe and the Not so much Adonis tribe

The girls are ready to be one, they finally get along with each other. 
Troyzan is really cuddly with the gals. 
Sabrina is awesome. I like her. She might be my favourite Survivor this year. The guys are so dumb according to Alicia the special education teacher. 
Oh! We're heading for the first challenge. Looks exciting actually. I have the same shirt as Colton. I'm not even kidding. 

They dropped their buffs! Tribes are switching up! Holy funky hell. 
Random switch. They draw eggs and smash them on their bodies...recall this from last season...it was so fun last year with Coach and Rob we'll do it again. I hope they get all emotional about it too!
Blue and Orange are the new tribe colours. Please note that Jeff is once again wearing these colours before hand. I suppose we should have known once we saw this. 
Shit. How am I supposed to keep this in order.
There is no more a distinction between the men and women. Only Salani and Monano with no gender implications for either.  
Salani - Blue Tribe: Kat, Sabrina, Troyzan, Mike, Chelsea (my draw for work), Jay (my other draw from the work pool), and  Kim
Monano - Orange Tribe: Leif, Tarzan, Jonas, Monica, Alicia, Colton, Christina
Okay, okay back to the challenge: Carry a large bucket filled with holes and water...plug the holes. When you heave it over to this larger, bigger bucket thing you dump whatever water you have managed to keep from pouring out of the holes on the sides into it - so when it gets full/heavy enough the gianter bucket will drop thus raising your new tribe colour be it orange or blue...determining your win and therefore immunity. 

The winning tribe gets peanut butter and jelly with good fortune of keeping the one world beach. I guess it didn't quite work out as a love fest for the producers so now they have to have another camp. Or maybe they didn't want any more of Colton's shenanigans disrupting the integrity of the game. Not once in 23 seasons did a tribe give up immunity. Duh. I think that's because they weren't allowed to be in cahoots with each other.

Blue Tribe (not Colton's tribe) wins! 

I'm pretty happy that Colton has to start up a new camp. It actually doesn't look that bad. I'm so happy he is with so many people that he can't stand. He's going to be the first one gone. At least that's my wishful thinking. Seems awesome to me. BAHAHA! Colton just said that he has a way of relating to people and he is able to talk to them and charm them. Sure. Let's ask Bill. Or every single person on your new tribe after they watch all of this. Oh and how about all your "friends" that will see this when it airs. 

Colton, Christina, and Alicia are talking. He wants people to trust him. Monica is part of it now. So, now he has the four number on his side on both sides. There are four men left. If Colton isn't with them, then he would be with the other three guys and it would be four against three and the girls would get plucked out one by one. 

Blue Tribe: They speared four crabs, Mike and Chelsea did. Oooh, another chicken. Nice. They got it! Troyzan captured it with the assistance of the rest of the tribe. I hope they didn't kill the rooster...oh wait, they did because of course you would. I mean you only have four giant crabs that you will all share because they are already dead. I don't quite get it. They roasted it. Kim, Jay, Troyzan are talking. I think they'll keep Chelsea in on it. They know that Mike is not really part of it. Kim is really just talking making a safety play because she then said she would stay with the women. The women have the numbers on this tribe. I think they will be my favourite core alliance throughout the game: Jay (me), Chelsea (other me), Troyzan, and Kim. I hope it bodes well for them considering I now have all my eggs in one basket. The only person that will make this the "bomb" alliance would be the inclusion of Sabrina. 

Utoh, Colton just indicated that they have to get out Christina first. He doesn't like her. Alicia even disagreed with it. She just told him that the guys are crazy. Jonas is wondering what's the story with Colton and Alicia. Finally, the guys might be able to get Colton's butt out of this game. I hope they do something. Colton told him that he is totally sticking with the men. He asked Jonas to write down Christina's name because she's going home first. 

Colton: Master Manipulator. Is he a genius? 

Someone finally woke up - Kim is looking for the immunity idol for the women. She found it! I'm not sure where she hid it. Oh of course, she hid it in her crotch - duh. She just told us. Gross. She included Chelsea in the secret. Now they are scheming a bit. They don't want people to think that they are a pair. 

Ooooh, orange tribe (aka not Adonis Tribe) is catching chickens too! They set a trap and now they have it. Hahaha! The chicken just escaped. Oh well. Now Colton wants to get rid of Monica. He wants her gone because Christina doesn't have any friends and if they get to the merge Christina will be easier to get rid of. Alicia fell for it. She just told him that she won't vote with him, but she doesn't have the numbers on her side at this point. At least she doesn't have to sell out the other women just quite yet. 

First immunity challenge.

Who will it be? Three members race to get a ball in the water. Shoot a basket and the other tribe tries to stop you any way they can. This could get ugly. I wonder what the queen will do?
Men vs. men so no one really gets hurt and if they do it's okay because it's same gender-ed potential abuse. Jay vs. Colton. I don't really care about the other match ups. Jay takes out two guys and Mike scores the first goal. Blue ahead by one.
"A little height disparity in this one." Did Jeff really say this about Leif? Leif knocked him (I think him is Mike) down. That's hilarious. OMG. Leif got the closest to the basket so far in round two. These guys can't score for shit. Mike finally scores again. He did dump some pretty small people into the water (Monica, Leif). Blue is ahead 2-0. One more for Salani and they win. Monica scores for Monano putting them on the board. she's trying to keep them happy and enthused. 
Colton is defending the goal. He got to the ball first. He's yelling out HELP ME. Jay took two shots and missed. Mike scored. Salani wins immunity and Colton quite nearly drowned. 

Who will go home from the orange tribe. Alicia thinks it's going to be the best blind side ever put on by her and Colton. They are sending home Monica. Of course they are getting one of the girls out - this won't be a blind-side. I mean, not if you really think about it. She would have a one in three shot at going home. She should have calculated that. 

Unless of course, Monica believes that the guys are going to vote out one of the guys when they have four people. Now Jonas doesn't trust Leif. "She's the head of the snake," Colton said about Monica. "Tarzan is like having a grandfather with alzheimers," Colton. They have to keep telling him over and over again attempting to instill her name to his memory. Now he thinks he's the leader of 'a bunch of idiots'. He finds this difficult. I'm surprised he's the leader too. I guess it's his huge ego which must present as confidence when you are that close to him. That or fear. 

Jeff is asking about the new tribe and now I'm bored and bored. Jeff is asking "is Monica what you need to turn this tribe around?" He asked Alicia and she gave a flowering speech with a hint of, "I smell a but coming." I thought Alicia was going to be an award winning actress and then she turned around and said that Monica could be a threat. So, with no hackles up before Alicia's comments, now Monica seems nervous. Now they realize that Tarzan has a huge vocabulary. And then Jeff made fun of Leif for saying explanate because it ain't no word. Tarzan is just trying to be precise. I love his vocabulary. He has a 'nomalaffasia'. I googled that shit and can't find anything close to that word. I even typed in "correct term for forgetting names" and nothing but Alzheimer's came up. I really want to find it. I'll continue to search for it. He can't remember names. He was able to name his tribe though. No one knows that he is a plastic surgeon. He's keeping information on the DL considering "the game is afoot, Jeff." 

Why is Colton in such high standing? Are people afraid of him? Will this be predictable? Yep. Monica is voted out. What was not predictable? Alicia voting for Monica when she clearly did not have to. 

Salani Tribe (BLUE)
Jay Byars, 25, Gaffney, S.C., model
Kat Edorsson, 22, Orlando, timeshare rep
Chelsea Meissner, 26, Charleston, S.C., medical sales
Michael Jefferson, 30, Seattle, banker
Kim Spradlin, 29, San Antonio, bridal shop owner
Sabrina Thompson, 33, Brooklyn, high school teacher
Troy/zan Robertson, 50, Miami, swimsuit photographer

Manono Tribe (ORANGE)
Christina Cha, 29, West Hollywood, Calif., career consultant
Alicia Rosa, 25, Chicago, special ed teacher
Colton Cumbie, 21, Monroeville, Ala., college student
Leif Manson, 27, San Diego, phlebotomist
Jonas Otsuji, 37, Lehi, Utah, sushi chef
Greg/Tarzan Smith, 64, Houston, plastic surgeon

Home already...
Kourtney Moon, 29, Austin, Texas, motorcycle repair - injured WHOA! OMG, OMG, OMG. My colleague that got Kourtney's name for the draw actually BROKE his wrist just a couple of weeks ago! How creepy is that? Do you think it might have been foreshadowing? Cool...cool yet creepy at the same time.
Nina Acosta, 51, Clovis, Calif., retired LAPD officer
Matt Quinlan, 33, San Francisco, attorney
Bill Posley, 28, Venice, Calif., stand-up comedian
Monica Culpepper, 41, Tampa, ex-NFL player's wife

12 March 2012

Future Tattoo: Moksha

I want to make sure I can see this again. I will get this as a tattoo one day. So far I've book my appointment for my new faery tattoo (August 1/2012). I don't think I'll get this one quite yet. I will one day. My biff told me that if there is an added T type letter to the very end of this word it turns it feminine. I might do that. My dog's name is Moksha and she's female and I'm female too...might do it. Not too sure yet. I don't know where I would get this tattoo either. I'm thinking between the two faeries on my back OR maybe on my chest - left side - not sure yet. 

08 March 2012

Survivor One World - Ignorant, rich, white kid with a black maid calls the shots.

Episode Four. I just recently (like yesterday - or would it be considered today? It might not because I won't publish this until after midnight...) posted week three. I'm looking forward to this week though - the women seem to be making this an actual game.
Why do they keep showing Colton saying, "I'm sorry. I am not a democrat. I'm a republican. I don't believe in handouts."
Hahaha...they call them "the misfit" and "the muscle" alliances. Michael is getting a little scared. He's saying they should continue to vote out the strong guys so that they can continue to lose.
Tarzan is a plastic surgeon. Interesting.
I can't believe Leif is sleeping in the crate that had their rope in. That's awesome! I suppose it's a smart idea. He stays dry and warm.
Bill is dangerous according to Tarzan.
I want the new iPad.
Salani Tribe: Are they really eating like tiny, tiny snails? They have all the fishing gear and a boat. I guess they aren't starving, so informs Monica.
The men have raced over to the women's tribe and they really want to use the net. "We are willing to give you half of it." Really...you are willing to give them half of the bounty? They should get a little bit more than half. Jonas says that they are doing all alright - they are getting enough food. The men will do all the work and the women get half the fish caught. Troyzan doesn't understand why the women are being hard asses about the net. I do. They are finally in a good position. Troyzan is wondering why the women don't want to suntan on the beach while they go out and get all the food and the women will get half for doing nothing. They aren't letting you use the net because you aren't getting as strong as they are! The men will need more food to keep up their strength and the women are doing just fine...they don't need the guys to get them food when they are capable of getting their own.

Reward Challenge: The game is starting to feel like it did way back when. The challenge is to take out five targets in a row with a slingshot.
They will win a choice of one of three things - comfort, protection, or luxury.
Bill is sitting out this one. Monica and Colton - Neither one of them knocked out a tile. It's like the tiles are made of wood and they just splinter.
Kat and Tarzan get one point each. They still have to get five in a row. The men have 2 targets out now. Monica knocked out one. Sabrina knocked out another one...they have two of five matched up. To be honest this challenge is really boring, not only to watch but, to write about.
Women have three connected - now four. One target left at the very bottom. Jonas is up for the men. Chelsea could win it. She knocked out another one, but it wasn't the one they needed for the win. Monica could now win it AND WOMEN WIN REWARD! Three in a row! Sweet.
Thank GOD. I thought they were going to take the donuts. They took the tarp. They need a tarp. I'm so glad. I really was waiting for them to grip the donuts. The LOML thought they should have grabbed 'em just to eat them in front of the guys.
Tarzan thinks they won from luck. I think he's just fun. I really do. I like the way he uses his words.

One of the guys said that they didn't get a chance to learn the game. Bill says, "Neither did they." That was awesome. Bill and Leif are talking about the idol. Leif just told Bill that Colton wanted him to be voted out. Bill's not too happy about that. He just got "wowed". He just learned that his head was on the chopping block. He now knows the game is on.

"That little munchkin...is about to get knocked back to Oz," Colton, AKA DICKhead. Michael is really trying to stir it up. Colton asked Leif what he told him and now he's trying to act like he's the king of the island. So now, Leif has apparently sealed his fate. COLTON! DID YOU REALLY JUST CALL LEIF AN OOMPALOOMPA? For real? So, Leif knows he messed up and he hopes that he can redeem his status in the tribe and Colton is an ass.

I want the new iPad.

Treemail is a puzzle. They will be in pairs. Alicia got all fired up because Kat said she didn't think they should be partners because Kat herself is not that good at puzzles and therefore she must think Alicia sucks at them too. It's really good Sabrina is on their tribe. She's pretty cool headed. She's a high school teacher so I guess she deals with this type of silliness all the time.

The challenge is to get puzzle pieces and keys and raise up a flag. Jonas is sitting out for the men. Oh, they are doing this puzzle in pairs.
Colton and Tarzan paired up for the men.
Alicia and Chelsea are taking forever. They peaked over at the men's finished puzzle, but the men are already almost done the entire thing. Finally they get the first key and are now working on the second puzzle.
Michael and Jay finished.
Troyzan and Bill on the third and final puzzle.
Kim and Sabrina are working on the second puzzle.
Tarzan is yelling out CHEATER because the women are looking at the finished puzzles. Who cares? Okay, he's annoying me now.
Leif has two locks and the third lock and the men have raised their flag. MEN WIN IMMUNITY.

Which woman will go home? I hope they send Alicia or Kat home.
Colton is an ignorant bastard. Ignorant. I don't think I can say it enough.

Sabrina is pissed off with Alicia, "She's just dead weight with a mouth."
Bill wants to talk to Colton so they can clear up whatever beef they got between them. Colton is being annoying and doesn't want to talk to him. He covered up his eyes and ignored him and then he told him that he doesn't want to be around him. Colton can't stand him. Colton hates him so bad he is asking if the guys want to trade out the immunity so that the men can go to tribal and vote out Bill. Jonas doesn't like that idea, but Colton is calling the shots right now. Why is Colton calling the shots right now? Jay believes this is a hasty decision.
Apparently the girls have let the guys use the fishing gear. I can't believe they didn't tell us about that. This was such a huge deal.
Tarzan thinks they are going to tribal counsel to vote out Leif. Jay has no idea what the hell is going on. Tarzan says Leif betrayed everyone and he needs to go home. Jay is under the impression that Bill would go home. Colton and Tarzan are the only ones that put their hands up to go. Jay, "I'm completely bum-puzzled right now." THIS is the quote of the week.
I can't stand Colton.
Who will it be at tribal! HOLY crap! They guys are at tribal counsel. How stupid.

"24 seasons, some 100 tribal counsels, never had a tribe arrive at tribal counsel after winning immunity."
Troyzan is explaining why they are at tribal. So, they are voting off Leif because he told Bill that he was going home. Is this just a ruse? Seriously? Do other people know that this is a joke and they are voting Bill out? Are they voting Bill out? What the hell is going on?
Jay is the smartest one in this game so far. I'm not even kidding. He's at least honest and is clearly able to say that he does not understand what the hell is going on. Colton doesn't like Bill because he's obnoxious and loud. And now Colton is telling him that he needs to get a new job because Bill is a stand up comic. Colton apparently has African American people in his life - his maid. Seriously. Bill finally called Colton out. Bill asked Colton to not look down at him.
Why does Tarzan always stick up for Colton? He's apparently fed up with race talk - they have a black president for crying out loud. Colton is from Alabama and he's a prick. I'm not going to edit that out. He has no idea about life. His mind is small. I would love it if they blind-sided him tonight. How sweet would that be? He didn't play the idol...maybe...shit. Bill is voted out.
Colton totally got all the men to go to Tribal just to vote out the poor black guy. AND they all went for it! Wow. I don't understand it.
Apparently something crazy happens next week. I wonder if they are mixing up the tribes.